This has nothing to do with the team itself, and it's not pessimism. It's science. The Lions have never won in Washington. Ever. Last time they defeated the Redskins, they were the Boston Redskins. Since the team relocated to Washington over a half century ago, they’re 0-19. Not even the late great Alex Karras (pictured, chasing Sonny Jurgensen) could rally the Kittens to victory in the nation's capital.
They’ve never won in San Diego either. Not once. In Miami, the Lions just recently won for the first time (in 2010). All this misery got me to do more researching. And thinking.
My son is 20 years old. In his lifetime, the Lions have not won in 14 NFL cities: Green Bay (whom they travel to play in two weeks), Phoenix, Pittsburgh, Washington, New England, Baltimore, St. Louis, San Diego, San Francisco, Indianapolis, Buffalo, Kansas City, Tennessee and Cincinnati. Repeating for emphasis: the Lions have failed to beat nearly half the league's teams on the road since my son was born two decades ago. The interesting question isn't merely whether they've ever won in an opposing team's city. It's whether or not they were wearing leather helmets when it happened.
The Lions have won just once in five other cities: Kansas City, Buffalo, Carolina, Phoenix and St. Louis. They have won once in Cleveland since 1970. Once in Seattle since their inaugural sesaon in 1976. Once in Phoenix since 1990. Once in Atlanta since 1989. Once in Philadelphia since 1986. Once in St. Louis since 1973. Once in New England since 1971 (when they were the Boston Patriots).
This is an ecological level of suck the likes of which we can barely comprehend. Around here it's just easier to shake our heads, roll our eyes and call it Lions football.
