A hot-knife team in a stick-o-butter league

They're not flashy. They don't attempt double-reverses or hook-and-ladder pass plays or Boise State statue of liberty plays. They go for it on fourth down, but it's more of a conservative move than you would think. A preference for field position and, more likely than not, the odds of a successful conversion, to a risky center snap, hold and field goal attempt.

This year's Lake Orion Dragons football team has the makings of being among the best in school history. Each Friday they've taken out their opponent with a lethal dose of venom and the oxygen-depriving squeeze of a python. The teams are lulled into the second quarter feeling like they're actually providing competition. Then a Dragon dive play bursts wide open and becomes a 40-yard touchdown run. A mishandled snap here, a misguided pass there, and turnover turns into points, a broken tackle turns into another score. And it's over by halftime.

Here's how the Dragons' season has gone so far. Their first game renewed a rivalry with neighboring Oxford after a 27 year hiatus. I've never seen so many fans gathered around the Lake Orion field; there was not one empty seat to be found anywhere. The "Battle Of Lapeer Road" reached 31-0 by halftime and didn't stop till the score hit 45-6. Lake Orion traveled to Rochester the following week and showed little mercy in drubbing the Falcons, 36-7. Lake Orion visited Pontiac the following week and blew open a tight contest for a 44-13 win. And tonight, the host Dragons sent West Bloomfield, well, west, with a 56-14 dismemberment and subsequent wood-chipping.

Four opponents. For embarrassments. I've seen cockroaches stand up to steel-toed boots more successfully.

The party rolls on, next Friday at Royal Oak High School, then a home-and-home with the Troy teams (hosting Troy High and travelling to Athens) before the "Cross-over Team To Be Named Later" and their final home game, October 22 against their other neighboring rivals from Clarkston. Expect an Oxford-like crowd.

See Denard Run

See Denard run.
Run Denard, run.
Watch Denard get bigger and bigger.
Watch Denard get better and better.
Denard is going to run me right over.
Did you see Denard?

Don't bite the brand that feeds you

It's official. The National Football League is a joke. And despite how he may appear in this picture, Calvin Johnson is not laughing.

How the Lions' all-pro wide receiver's touchdown catch--which should have won this afternoon's game against the Chicago Bears--was not a touchdown catch is beyond me. How referees watch that catch before huddling together to rule that it wasn't a catch is beyond me. How fathers try to explain to their sons that it wasn't really a touchdown is beyond me.

With :24 left and the Lions trailing the Chicago Bears 19-14 in that architectural disaster once known as Soldier Field, quarterback Shawn Hill lofted a pass toward the right corner of the end zone. Johnson out-jumped two defenders and pulled the ball down. Johnson landed with both feet in the end zone, still in possession of the ball. Johnson took another step as he fell to the ground and landed on his ass, STILL IN POSSESSION OF THE BALL. Johnson brought the ball to the ground with one hand, still in possession. Johnson pushed the ball against the ground and let go as he sprung to his feet, circling the end zone in celebration. The referee in the end zone signaled touchdown.

But in the 2010 version of the NFL, this is apparently not a touchdown.

According to league rules, the "process" of Johnson's touchdown catch is only completed after the ball hits the ground, and since he let go of the ball at that moment, the play was not ruled a completion. Hence, no touchdown. The rule doesn't state how long after the ball hits the ground the receiver needs to maintain possession. Still, no other rule in the sport uses a player's actions after a play is over to determine the outcome of that play.

It's football's equivalent of the five-second rule. Were it in place last season, it could have cost the New Orleans Saints a key two-point conversion and possibly a Super Bowl victory. Were it in place throughout NFL history, who knows how many legitimate touchdowns would have been disallowed.

For some reason, "the process" doesn't come into play when a player crosses the plane of the goal line with the football. In these situations the play is over the instant the ball crosses the plane. So if, for example, a runner dives into the end zone and a defender hits the ball out of his hands on his way down, it's already ruled a touchdown.

As for the ruling on the field... the official who was less than 20 feet away watched Calvin catch the ball, land with both feet in bounds and fall to the ground, still in possession of the ball, and signaled touchdown. Yet he was overruled. Though no other official was as close to the play as this official, someone decided the pass was incomplete and changed his call. The man in position--the man who saw the play and had been trained to make this call--his perspective, opinion, experience and expertise were nullified by someone somewhere else. So suddenly, the review of the play had to hold enough evidence to overturn the overruled ruling on the field.

There's only explanation for all of this: the NFL has jumped the shark.

The stats-loving, black-socks-wearing geeks have taken over, and they've micromanaged the game into oblivion. Things are no longer what they seem. Black-and-white facts now have gray area. Eye witness accounts are now open to interpretation. The rules have officially invalidated the reality.

What if Calvin Johnson had spiked the ball instead? What if he caught it, landed with both feet in bounds and chucked the ball into the stands in celebration on his way to the turf? Isn't that part of the "celebration process", thereby being accepted as a touchdown? Imagine sitting around the screen at Caesar's Palace, with thousands of dollars riding on the outcome of this game. When rules determine that plays like this are not touchdowns, someone needs to be accountable. And there's no accountability anymore in the NFL.

The call took a win away from one team and gave it to the other. A professional football team's fortunes can shift on the weight of a single game. As the 2005 Pittsburgh Steelers showed us, a game can be the difference between winning the Super Bowl and not making the playoffs. The Lions lost a game they won. The Bears won a game they lost. So what would the league and all those who draw paychecks from the almighty shield tell us? "They made the right call." That's it. Nothing more.

Well I hereby issue a challenge. I dare the NFL's mediabots to stand up and say the rule is wrong. The touchdown we all saw on TV was indeed a touchdown--regardless of the geeky, fantasy-fooball-driven tweaks that are killing the once proud, once it-is-what-it-is NFL--and that this insanity must be stopped.

So far the only national sports analyst I've seen that's called the League out on the field turf has been Fox's Michael Strahan. The former Giant couldn't believe a catch they all knew was a touchdown was no longer so. But the others didn't follow his lead, opting instead for the safe, soft path to job security. Terry Bradshaw sped through the game's highlights and quickly changed the topic. Fox Football Sunday host Curt Meneffe shamelessly plugged "our Michael Guerrero" with man-crush vigor any time someone brought up the play. Guerrero is the network's NFL expert whose interpretation of the rule kept Meneffe and his team from risking reputation and employment with their own opinions. "He (Guerrero) was 2-0 today," echoed the once bold Howie Long, also muppeting the pro-NFL "no problems here, keep moving" stance.

These parasites are too fat and happy to consider hurting the host. Ultimately, the health and welfare of the NFL is more important than anything else. Like a meaningless September game involving the Detroit Lions. As any smiling face in front of a network camera would say, you don't bite the brand that feeds you.

The Green Half-Mile

This week the other team KNEW what was coming. And they still couldn't stop it.

For an offense as wide open as the Michigan Wolverines offense, their primary weapon is no mystery. Two weeks ago Denard Robinson held his breath as coach Rich Rodriguez decided which of his three young quarterbacks would lead his team into the 2010 season. Yesterday 80,000 held their breath as Robinson darted left, right, over and through the Notre Dame Fighting Irish for 502 yards of total offense--258 of them on the ground. Both numbers set Michigan all-time records for a quarterback, the first of which broke his own record of 383 yards, set seven days earlier against Connecticut.

In just two weeks, this lightning bolt of 4.3 speed has already covered 885 yards--nearly nine football fields, over a half mile of real estate--and may not slow down until he reaches the Downtown Athletic Club in December and speeds off with Michigan's fourth Heisman Trophy.

Denard's inexplicable rise has carried him from prominence to dominance. Whether the Irish defense knew when he'd call his own number or not, had little effect on the result. difference. In the second quarter, pinned back on their own 13-yard line, Robinson once again called on Robinson to make something happen. The swift sophomore took the snap from center and rolled right, then cut to the left and dashed through a hole off his right tackle in a dead sprint. That was as close as any golden-domed defender came to #16, as the sold-out crowd at Notre Dame Stadium watched Robinson actually pull away from the Irish secondary as he soared into the north end zone.

World-class sprinting aside, perhaps the most astonishing aspect of Denard's upward spiral is the zip he's put on his own spiral. Robinson followed his near-perfect 18-for-21 performance against UConn with 24 completions in 40 attempts for 244 yards. Rarely did a ball get away from him, and only one of his passes even came close to being intercepted. The 87-yard sprint was impressive to be sure, but Denard's shining moment came on the first play following Jonas Mouton's first-quarter interception.

From the Irish 31 Robinson took the shotgun snap, faked a handoff to tailback Mike Shaw and rolled left, floating along the line of scrimmage, looking for an opening. Notre Dame's two linebackers read the play as yet another quarterback run and broke toward him. Denard took a step back instead and fired, hitting a suddenly wide open Roy Roundtree in stride. The sophomore split end scored easily, and Michigan had its first lead of the game.

The play was an absolute work of art. In fact, these two weeks have been an offensive masterpiece. Robinson's rating is a robust 138.3, his 70% completion percentage ranks 20th among division-1 quarterbacks and he leads the nation in rushing. THE NATION. In fact, Oklahoma State tailback Kendall Hunter and Kansas State's Daniel Thomas are the only players within a hundred yards of Mr. Robinson's neighborhood.

How ironic is it that the kid who didn't know whether he'd be named the Wolverines' starting quarterback, now has his name mentioned as a Heisman contender, in the same breath as former Wolverine Ryan Mallet.

How ironic is it that the man who didn't understand what Michigan football is all about, now has lit up two favored opponents with none other than a triple-option attack? Remember the option, Wolverine fans? Remember the Bo Schembechler offenses run by Don Moorheaad and Dennis Franklin and Rick Leach? They've got nothing on Rich Rod and his six-point buck from Deerfield Beach, Florida, who cuts his way through opponents as effortlessly as he sprints down an open green field.

The coach now his ideal quarterback in place, the Pat White of the Big Ten. And football is once again exciting in Ann Arbor.