Don't bite the brand that feeds you

It's official. The National Football League is a joke. And despite how he may appear in this picture, Calvin Johnson is not laughing.

How the Lions' all-pro wide receiver's touchdown catch--which should have won this afternoon's game against the Chicago Bears--was not a touchdown catch is beyond me. How referees watch that catch before huddling together to rule that it wasn't a catch is beyond me. How fathers try to explain to their sons that it wasn't really a touchdown is beyond me.

With :24 left and the Lions trailing the Chicago Bears 19-14 in that architectural disaster once known as Soldier Field, quarterback Shawn Hill lofted a pass toward the right corner of the end zone. Johnson out-jumped two defenders and pulled the ball down. Johnson landed with both feet in the end zone, still in possession of the ball. Johnson took another step as he fell to the ground and landed on his ass, STILL IN POSSESSION OF THE BALL. Johnson brought the ball to the ground with one hand, still in possession. Johnson pushed the ball against the ground and let go as he sprung to his feet, circling the end zone in celebration. The referee in the end zone signaled touchdown.

But in the 2010 version of the NFL, this is apparently not a touchdown.

According to league rules, the "process" of Johnson's touchdown catch is only completed after the ball hits the ground, and since he let go of the ball at that moment, the play was not ruled a completion. Hence, no touchdown. The rule doesn't state how long after the ball hits the ground the receiver needs to maintain possession. Still, no other rule in the sport uses a player's actions after a play is over to determine the outcome of that play.

It's football's equivalent of the five-second rule. Were it in place last season, it could have cost the New Orleans Saints a key two-point conversion and possibly a Super Bowl victory. Were it in place throughout NFL history, who knows how many legitimate touchdowns would have been disallowed.

For some reason, "the process" doesn't come into play when a player crosses the plane of the goal line with the football. In these situations the play is over the instant the ball crosses the plane. So if, for example, a runner dives into the end zone and a defender hits the ball out of his hands on his way down, it's already ruled a touchdown.

As for the ruling on the field... the official who was less than 20 feet away watched Calvin catch the ball, land with both feet in bounds and fall to the ground, still in possession of the ball, and signaled touchdown. Yet he was overruled. Though no other official was as close to the play as this official, someone decided the pass was incomplete and changed his call. The man in position--the man who saw the play and had been trained to make this call--his perspective, opinion, experience and expertise were nullified by someone somewhere else. So suddenly, the review of the play had to hold enough evidence to overturn the overruled ruling on the field.

There's only explanation for all of this: the NFL has jumped the shark.

The stats-loving, black-socks-wearing geeks have taken over, and they've micromanaged the game into oblivion. Things are no longer what they seem. Black-and-white facts now have gray area. Eye witness accounts are now open to interpretation. The rules have officially invalidated the reality.

What if Calvin Johnson had spiked the ball instead? What if he caught it, landed with both feet in bounds and chucked the ball into the stands in celebration on his way to the turf? Isn't that part of the "celebration process", thereby being accepted as a touchdown? Imagine sitting around the screen at Caesar's Palace, with thousands of dollars riding on the outcome of this game. When rules determine that plays like this are not touchdowns, someone needs to be accountable. And there's no accountability anymore in the NFL.

The call took a win away from one team and gave it to the other. A professional football team's fortunes can shift on the weight of a single game. As the 2005 Pittsburgh Steelers showed us, a game can be the difference between winning the Super Bowl and not making the playoffs. The Lions lost a game they won. The Bears won a game they lost. So what would the league and all those who draw paychecks from the almighty shield tell us? "They made the right call." That's it. Nothing more.

Well I hereby issue a challenge. I dare the NFL's mediabots to stand up and say the rule is wrong. The touchdown we all saw on TV was indeed a touchdown--regardless of the geeky, fantasy-fooball-driven tweaks that are killing the once proud, once it-is-what-it-is NFL--and that this insanity must be stopped.

So far the only national sports analyst I've seen that's called the League out on the field turf has been Fox's Michael Strahan. The former Giant couldn't believe a catch they all knew was a touchdown was no longer so. But the others didn't follow his lead, opting instead for the safe, soft path to job security. Terry Bradshaw sped through the game's highlights and quickly changed the topic. Fox Football Sunday host Curt Meneffe shamelessly plugged "our Michael Guerrero" with man-crush vigor any time someone brought up the play. Guerrero is the network's NFL expert whose interpretation of the rule kept Meneffe and his team from risking reputation and employment with their own opinions. "He (Guerrero) was 2-0 today," echoed the once bold Howie Long, also muppeting the pro-NFL "no problems here, keep moving" stance.

These parasites are too fat and happy to consider hurting the host. Ultimately, the health and welfare of the NFL is more important than anything else. Like a meaningless September game involving the Detroit Lions. As any smiling face in front of a network camera would say, you don't bite the brand that feeds you.