When winning matters more than who's getting beaten

We're about to see what it looks like when an academic institution puts winning games above domestic violence against women.

The "investigation" into the incidents surrounding Urban Meyer's knowledge and handling of his assistant coach's multiple incidents of alleged domestic abuse has come to a close, and the board of regents at the Ohio State University met this morning to review its findings. In the next few days they will announce what they've wanted to announce all along: that they will be keeping their prized football coach on their payroll with little if any consequence, and that the matter as they see it is now closed.

I've anticipated this ending ever since the Buckeyes put Meyer on paid leave several weeks ago. The fact that the school would take such a stance given the culture surrounding the treatment of female victims of abuse in this day and age shouldn't surprise anyone. After all, we're talking about Ohio State here. The same university whose president once confessed that he was happy his football coach hasn't fired him.

Winning means everything along the banks of the Olentangy River. Everything as in EVERYTHING. And not just winning over that rival school from the state to their state's direct north either--although Meyer's stellar 6-0 record over said rival was undoubtedly mentioned behind a closed door in the weeks since Brett McMurphy dropped the bombshell that detonated this entire ordeal. But the kind of winning that emboldened a desperate president, board of regents and athletic department to do whatever it takes to make this whole thing go away.

Every part of this display was farcical. Case in point, the "statement". Urban Meyer told an unprovoked lie at the Big Ten football media day event in Chicago. He stood at a microphone and told the gathering that he had no prior knowledge of assistant coach Zack Smith's 2015 domestic abuse incident. Records showed that he had spoken with Smith--who happens to be his mentor Earle Bruce's grandson--about an incident he heard about. Cell phone records also revealed text conversations between his wife Shelley and Zack's wife Courtney Smith, where she was made well aware of Courtney's injuries and fear of further abuse at the hands of her husband. Being that Urban has boasted about how Shelley was his "closest confidente", that his wife--herself a staff member at OSU--knew the potential seriousness involving a member of her husband's coaching staff, and that the Smiths had previous domestic abuse incidents in 2009 (while Zack was an assistant for Meyer at Florida) and 2012, the chances of Shelley not informing Urb about it are roughly zero or less.

When Meyer was placed on paid leave by the university, he prepared a statement that he distributed to the media at the precise moment Zack Smith was being interviewed for the first time on ESPN. In it he never mentioned that he lied or was less than honest in his answer; instead he claimed he was "not adequately prepared" to discuss the issue. At the conference's pre-season media event. To this day no one connected with Meyer or the university has mentioned the word "lie" even once. After all, we're talking about Ohio State here. The same university whose former head coach was forced to resign after lying to the FBI during an investigation in order to keep the eligibility of several key players.

Another case in point, the "independent investigation". The university hired a law firm. Law firms don't investigate their clients, they protect their clients. In this case, a client curious to see what potential consequences would arise should they not fire their football coach for lying about not having prior knowledge of assistant coach Zack Smith's 2015 domestic abuse incident. After all, we're talking about Ohio State here. The same university whose athletic director once put Woody Hayes "on notice" for hitting a college football player and a network TV cameraman, A FULL YEAR BEFORE he punched Clemson linebacker Bobby Bauman in the closing minutes of the 1978 Gator Bowl.

As the Ohio State University is generally very good at what it does, what they're about to pull off here is nothing short of masterful. First of all, by hiring a law firm to protect your interests and calling it an "investigation". And second, by keeping their coach and their teflon athletic director (who in the world survives two football scandals at the same university?) with little if any punishment, and getting away with it.

When they announce in very stern terms how disappointed they are in the head coach and how they are a staunch, zero-tolerance school when it comes to the safety of all women ("Do you hear me, Buster?"), they will slap a laughable suspension on him if anything, maybe the first two meaningless out-of-conference games, maybe the entire first half of the Oregon State exhibition. And Urban will make a sad face and look at his shoes, creating the impression of a man showing pity.

Either way, the man whose name rhymes with Liar will be back on the sidelines when the Big Ten season starts, as sure as the sun rises in the morning and beating Michigan is more important than the beatings your coaching staff administers at home.

After all, we're talking about Ohio State here.

Nocturnal Omissions

The distance between Michigan Stadium and Notre Dame Stadium, site of opening night for the Wolverines' 2018 season, is a scant 150 miles. When the sun sets, however, the two venues couldn't be further apart.

While the Wolverines have built two dreamy evenings around beating the Fighting Irish under the lights at the Big House in recent years——the 17-point comeback and last-minute heroics that crushed the domers in 2011, then last year's methodical destruction——their nighttime ventures just south of the Indiana border have been a nightmare.

Let the record state that not once in five tries have they scheduled a primetime matchup in South Bend that they could put in the books as a W.

The Wolverines' first venture was the first night game ever played at Notre Dame, in 1982. Deeply invested in the Gerry Faust regime at the time——with new uniforms to match, worthy of an Ohio high school team (see program below)——the 20th-ranked Irish rode the strength of a packed house of screaming fans (as loud as 59,000 fans can be) to upset #10 Michigan, 23-17, limiting all-american wideout Anthony Carter to one measly albeit spectacular punt return touchdown.

This was also back in the day of Masco portable lighting, as Notre Dame Stadium had no permanent stadium lights back then. So four towers at each corner of the field were charged with generating enough light to illuminate the entire playing surface, leading to players accidentally getting an eyeful of the intense beams and losing sight of the ball, or an approaching opponent.

The nighttime football experiment proved successful in South Bend as Notre Dame would host other primetime contests during the 1980s and 1990s, ultimately installing permanent lights when the school expanded the stadium's capacity to 80,000 in 1997.

Michigan's next excursion to college football's self-appointed cathederal came in 1988. The #9 Wolverines were underdogs to #13 Notre Dame despite the higher ranking. And the team they faced was formidable indeed. Quarterback Tony Rice and tailback Ricky Waters tore up the Wolverine defense for 200 second-half yards, while Reggie Ho added his name to the long list of formerly unknown kickers who would crush the hearts of the maize and blue faithful. His four field goals nearly outscored Michigan's entire offense, the last being a 48-yarder with 1:13 remaining that proved to be the winning points. Mike Gillette, the kicker with a cannon for a leg, missed a 48-yarder of his own on the game's final play.

As it turned out, this game was a mere appetizer for the Wolverine heartbreak entree that was served up the following week. Bo Schembechler's boys couldn't hold onto a seemingly secure 16-point lead over Jimmy Johnson's #1-ranked Miami Hurricanes and lost, 31-30. The Irish, on the other hand, never looked back and, despite the graduation of Heisman Trophy winner Tim Brown, captured the national title with a Fiesta Bowl victory over West Virginia.

Fate was just as unkind to the Wolverines on their next trip to South Bend in 1990. Let by the good-as-gold Ohio tandem of QB Elvis Grbac and SE Desmond Howard, Michigan was in cruise control with a 24-14 second-half lead over the top-ranked Irish, destined to break their three-game losing streak at the hands of the evil Irish empire.

Until the collapse. After pushing the Notre Dame defense all over the field with punishing runs, coach Gary Moeller decided to take the foot off the neck on first and goal. Grbac tossed a pillow into the hands of linebacker Michael Stonebraker to kill the drive. Then, facing a third-and-17 deep in their own territory, Irish quarterback Rick Mirer heaved a desperate throw downfield, in the vacinity of spark plug wideout Raghib Ismael. As Irish luck would have it, the ball skipped off Ismael's helmet and hit receiver Lake Dawson in stride.

Mirer connected with Adrian Jarrell in the final minutes for the winning TD and Notre Dame extended its streak over Michigan to four games, ruining Moeller's coaching debut and causing me to get physically ill (the last time a sporting event would cause such a reaction… but then, the Irish haven't won two years in a row since).

Three trips to Indianatucky, and three defeats.

Prior to Michigan's 2012 visit, the 18th-ranked Wolverines had put together wins over Air Force and UMass after opening the season on the bloody end of a thorough Bama butt-whooping in the Jerrydome, and had hoped to recapture the "Under The Lights" magic from the previous year's victory at the Big House. No such luck. Denard Robinson (see my pic) looked more bewildered than heroic, throwing interceptions on four straight plays——twice to Heisman runner-up Manti Te'o——setting a Michigan all-time record for consecutive throws to the other team. Despite a seven-minute advantage in time of possession the maize and blue never found the end zone all evening, and the Irish prevailed, 13-6.

As was the case in 1988, Notre Dame continued their winning ways all season long, reaching the BCS Championship Game where the Crimson Tide delivered a beating nearly identical to the one they handed Michigan. As was the case in 1982, the 2012 Wolverines went on to lose the biggest games on their schedule, finishing with an underwhelming 7-5 record.

Then, the night terror of 2014. A 31-0 defeat on what was understood at the time as the last scheduled meeting between the two schools. As in, maybe ever. Aside from the 31-7 defeat to Minnesota later that season, when a dazed and dizzy quarterback Shane Morris was sent back into the game moments after suffering an obvious concussion, this effort has come to epitomize the latter years of the Brady Hoke era. A headphoneless coach who returned Michigan to the forefront of national recruiting yet gradually lost control of his team, allowing the first shutout to a Wolverine football team in 30 years.

Two years ago the rivalry was renewed for home-and-home matchups in 2018 and 2019. So this Saturday night may be the very last chance to notch a victory under the watching eyes of Touchdown Jesus. A loss could render the Wolverines winless in South Bend for nocturnal eternity, or until the two schools get their heads straight and decide to maintain one of college football's greatest rivalries well into the twenty-first century.

On a personal note, I am unbeaten as a fan watching the Wolverines play at Notre Dame Stadium. I've seen Michigan twice: the 47-21 demolition of the second-ranked Irish in 2006, and the 2010 game where Denard ran and passed for a staggering 502 total yards, including the winning touchdown run with 27 seconds remaining.

Do I dare put MY perfect record on the line this year, or should I take this perfection to the grave with me? Unfortunately an out-of-town family wedding will have me in California over Labor Day weekend as sealed my fate. Even if I were in town and available for a drive to South Bend, the $400 get-in price should give you my answer.