The "investigation" into the incidents surrounding Urban Meyer's knowledge and handling of his assistant coach's multiple incidents of alleged domestic abuse has come to a close, and the board of regents at the Ohio State University met this morning to review its findings. In the next few days they will announce what they've wanted to announce all along: that they will be keeping their prized football coach on their payroll with little if any consequence, and that the matter as they see it is now closed.
Winning means everything along the banks of the Olentangy River. Everything as in EVERYTHING. And not just winning over that rival school from the state to their state's direct north either--although Meyer's stellar 6-0 record over said rival was undoubtedly mentioned behind a closed door in the weeks since Brett McMurphy dropped the bombshell that detonated this entire ordeal. But the kind of winning that emboldened a desperate president, board of regents and athletic department to do whatever it takes to make this whole thing go away.
Every part of this display was farcical. Case in point, the "statement". Urban Meyer told an unprovoked lie at the Big Ten football media day event in Chicago. He stood at a microphone and told the gathering that he had no prior knowledge of assistant coach Zack Smith's 2015 domestic abuse incident. Records showed that he had spoken with Smith--who happens to be his mentor Earle Bruce's grandson--about an incident he heard about. Cell phone records also revealed text conversations between his wife Shelley and Zack's wife Courtney Smith, where she was made well aware of Courtney's injuries and fear of further abuse at the hands of her husband. Being that Urban has boasted about how Shelley was his "closest confidente", that his wife--herself a staff member at OSU--knew the potential seriousness involving a member of her husband's coaching staff, and that the Smiths had previous domestic abuse incidents in 2009 (while Zack was an assistant for Meyer at Florida) and 2012, the chances of Shelley not informing Urb about it are roughly zero or less.
When Meyer was placed on paid leave by the university, he prepared a statement that he distributed to the media at the precise moment Zack Smith was being interviewed for the first time on ESPN. In it he never mentioned that he lied or was less than honest in his answer; instead he claimed he was "not adequately prepared" to discuss the issue. At the conference's pre-season media event. To this day no one connected with Meyer or the university has mentioned the word "lie" even once. After all, we're talking about Ohio State here. The same university whose former head coach was forced to resign after lying to the FBI during an investigation in order to keep the eligibility of several key players.
As the Ohio State University is generally very good at what it does, what they're about to pull off here is nothing short of masterful. First of all, by hiring a law firm to protect your interests and calling it an "investigation". And second, by keeping their coach and their teflon athletic director (who in the world survives two football scandals at the same university?) with little if any punishment, and getting away with it.
When they announce in very stern terms how disappointed they are in the head coach and how they are a staunch, zero-tolerance school when it comes to the safety of all women ("Do you hear me, Buster?"), they will slap a laughable suspension on him if anything, maybe the first two meaningless out-of-conference games, maybe the entire first half of the Oregon State exhibition. And Urban will make a sad face and look at his shoes, creating the impression of a man showing pity.
Either way, the man whose name rhymes with Liar will be back on the sidelines when the Big Ten season starts, as sure as the sun rises in the morning and beating Michigan is more important than the beatings your coaching staff administers at home.
After all, we're talking about Ohio State here.
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